chutes and ladders?

So everyone, at least anyone involved in military life, knows that you never plan anything until it is actually happening. Well, I have come to learn this over the short months I have been what is being called a milispouse (military spouse) however, i had quite the rude awakening this past week, when Jonathan was telling me about his "mid-tour" leave.

Monday morning while talking with Jon he tells me that he has secured the last spot for April, but that April is a for sure go... keep in mind I had already made plans to go to California for Christmas to see family that couldn't make it to the wedding.... so I am thinking GREAT! this will be perfect... I definitely landed on that huge ladder that takes you almost to the top of the game...

Three hours later however, I get thrown down the chute that sends you clear back to the bottom..
Jon calls saying he has bad news, the last two guys on April got kicked out.
"okay." I'm thinking this means he is coming home later...
"So I'm coming home in a month" he says.

"WHAT? You're joking." I didn't believe him at all. I thought he was playing one of his games.
"Nope, I'm coming home in December."

So Jon will hopefully be here all through Christmas and needless to say, I won't be going to California.

Just one more story to add to the evidence as to why you never plan anything until it's happening

How he's doing?

The other question most often directed my way is 'how is he doing?'

First off, they got to their FOB earlier this week. Which means the address is set. If you would like to have it let me know and I will get it to you.

He said the FOB is a little run down, and right now it's a little hectic because the unit they are replacing is still there.

He is already asking for underwear and extra undershirts, so I am sure I will be sending LOTS of those in packages.

Overall though, he is doing well. We have been able to use our webcams a few times and although the picture is delayed at times, he says any sort of contact helps lift his spirits.

For those of you that do not have his e-mail address and might like it here it is:

soon2spool@yahoo.com

How I am feeling

The big questions these days is "how are you doing with everything?" And that is really a rather loaded question. How am I doing?

Emotionally

1) Well, Jonathan has been gone for three weeks now and I am just about adjusted to not having him around. I chose to say adjusted because I still miss not having him around but I have learned to live with it. I miss him terribly some days, and other days I just miss him a little, but no matter what I miss him. Even though we only got three months together, and really were still learning how to live with each others quirks, I have found that it is the little things that I am miss most. So how am I doing with not having him around... alright.

2) I decided to come back to my parents house while Jonathan is overseas which means leaving the people and community I had come to call home. That is different because it really is a whole different world up here. Living around an Army post is something else, and certainly nothing like living in Portland, OR. I struggled a little at first wondering if it really was the right thing to do; come home or not. I still am not decided on how I feel. I wish I could participate in Family Readiness Group meetings and other support things they have for spouses with deployed soldiers, but at the same time, I am very glad to be around my friends and family that have known me for a long time. The adjustment period for being back 'home' is really taking longer than I had anticipated but I am making it work and trying to stay positive.

Physically

I am tired. That's all there is too it. I try and keep busy so that I don't have a lot of down time to just think about what could be going on for Jonathan but sometimes in keeping busy I wear myself out. Also, especially the last few days, I have been getting calls from him at very early hours of the morning. Which makes setting a sleep routine difficult because of course I am going to talk to him whenever I get the chance, but it has to be when he can call, even if that means for an hour at 2am. But also, I have found that sometimes anticipating a phone call can be tiring as well. When he hasn't called for about 4 days that is when I usually start to feel the repercussions of wondering or hoping constantly whether or not the phone is going to ring.

Overall

In the grand scheme of things I am so thankful that God knows our life plan... and that He has a perfect plan. Because Jon and I were only living together for three months a lot of this adjustment is getting used to the long distance relationship thing again. It is almost like I took a 3 month long vacation to Kansas. Yes, there is more emotional attachment and all the stuff I mentioned above, but overall I am doing well. I have my good days and I have some hard days but I trust that this deployment is going to strengthen me, Jonathan, and our relationship. I also have to trust that God is going to keep my soldier safe and remember the we are both being covered in prayer as well as all the others over there. Remembering that He has a plan is comforting even on hard days.